With Carey finally receiving an accurate diagnosis I failed to lower my guard and celebrate her condition is not terminal that understandably hurt her feelings. I could blame it on the fact I immediately poured all of my concentration into her challenging recovery, but the truth was after so many false diagnosis’s I was afraid to believe the best thing that will ever happen to me was sticking around. We have been given a new day! I am sorry Carey.
Not an excuse, but after nearly three years of watching Carey’s health spiral out of control, a cancer diagnosis and the neurologist at Mayo giving her a year to live I kept my head buried in the sand failing to see the dawn of a new day. So often we can walk around with our eyes wide open and still not see the good surrounding us for clinging onto fear, anger and resentment.
I wasted over twenty years trying not to be a burden to a selfish family. That precious time can never be recovered. Now I am at a point in life that even if I was perfectly healthy I could not expect to live longer than the time I wasted trying to minimally exist. Do not waste a second.
This is going to be a brief post because we were up until five with a child in the emergency room with chest pains. Fortunately, nothing physically obvious with the heart, but will follow up with a pediatric cardiologist.
It is never too late to change and experience a new day. If you’re bitter and have a hardened heart those walls can come down. If you’re lazy get off your butt and make yourself do what you do not want to do; you will enjoy the benefits of accomplishment and feel better about your self worth. If you’re selfish force yourself to put others first; in time it will become habit and you will experience the rewards of giving. If fear paralyzes you challenge yourself to expand your comfort zone a little each day, don’t let time escape and be burdened with the regret of never trying. If your life is controlled by addiction reach out for help a new day awaits.
We are going to get some shut eye. Have a great day! dj