A Simple Life

Last night before going to sleep Carey and I were talking about all of the joy in our lives lately. Giving the conversation further reflection after the lights were off I realized most of our joy has been here all along just out of focus. Continued thought it came to me that we have made just a few tweaks to our daily lives and now the focus is sharp.

A nearly three year quest to discover the cause of Carey’s debilitating pain was all consuming. Most terrifying, my wife had become a shell of herself, because of no relief and no answers. The discovery at Mayo Clinic was life altering for Carey and our family. First and obvious, being told her condition was not terminal after being misdiagnosed was the weight of the world lifted, but just having an answer finally was equally relieving. We saw so many physicians that did not have a clue and those crass arrogant doctors made Carey doubt herself rather than do whatever necessary to diagnose their patient.

Possessing answers Carey knew what challenges were ahead and she could deal with that. I am so proud of my bride. A long road to restored health awaits, but Carey has made significant strides already!

As a result of going to Mayo we had to find someone to take care of me. A former caregiver familiar with my care seemed like the logical answer. Arrangements were made twice and the caregiver backed out twice delaying Carey getting to Mayo eighteen months. We were desperate. I was seriously contemplating having someone drop me off at the emergency room or something more permanent. Carey was going to Mayo hell or high water.

Hiring an independent caregiver is like inserting your hand into a paper bag filled with shards of broken glass attempting to retrieve the one pearl. Nine years ago I had a tremendous idea, naive, but stellar in a perfect world. Frustrated with risking my life and property hiring caregivers I thought what if there was a website where patients typed in their needs and caregivers entered there skills, rate, experience, availability, etc. then patented algorithms produced matches of potential qualified caregivers for patients and prospective employers for caregivers. I called it RespiteMatch. RespiteMatch adThe online service was growing like a wild fire fueled by hurricane force winds while I had a little advertising funds remaining after all of the programming expense. Troutman Sanders law firm performed the patent work , trade mark, terms of use and much more work all pro bono. RespiteMatch was their international humanitarian project of the year, something around $100,000 of hours their intellectual property department donated. I was not only the owner, but I was a user of the service. My idiocy was soon revealed. If caregivers will lie to your face regarding their resume what will keep them honest entering data into a computer? The answer was a large staff to perform extensive background and reference checks. I did not have the capital to do this and without it I could not bear to have my name associated with it. Too bad the Shark Tank wasn’t around.

Carey and I had to find, hire and train an intelligent caregiver that was affordable. We had less than 72 hours to stick our hands in the bag, find the pearl and not have hands that looked like hamburger meat after rummaging through the sack. A little background, in the past this required weeks of intensive training before a caregiver could become independent. While this was the case for hourly employees Carey learned my care in days. Was there someone available with Carey’s intelligence and concern, but not be romantically involved? Historical results said NO and the clock was ticking. Saturday evening Carey called a caregiver named Kelley. My wife stuck her hand in the bag, found the pearl and without a scratch!

Since then Kelley has saved Carey’s life thus mine and enabled us to focus on what is truly important. She and Carey are like life long best friends. It’s hard to have a bad day when you start it off with laughter. Thank you Kelley with two e’s!

Super moon by John HornbeckWith our focus where it should be the simple joys of life are fully appreciated. I married the perfect woman for me that loves her husband insanely, who prefers nature over anything man made, gets ready faster than I do, looks beautiful in jeans and t-shirts, best of all she doesn’t have to be on the go to be happy. We are fortunate to have older teens and young adult children that prefer spending time with us than friends or facebook! We are blessed to have been in a position to take advantage of a real estate crash and record low interest rates. I have not crossed the end of the gravel driveway in over a month and that is fine by me. Coffee on the porch with Carey listening to nature and feeling a cool breeze before summer’s heat and humidity rule the day. Having friends over to eat and enjoy the super moon in the country darkness. Watching kids make s’mores by the fire until they say, oh boy I can’t eat any more!


We were in a desperate position momentarily, but several friends and a few strangers reached out selflessly to give us a hand getting on our feet. We have dusted off the seat of our britches and resumed moving forward. The storm has been weathered and waters calmed so we can appreciate the simple pleasures. Thanks for reading. Have a great day! dj

2 comments on “A Simple Life
  1. Roy says:

    Hi David and Carey,
    Thanks for sharing I’m so happy for you both and relieved that Carey is feeling moe comfortable
    now.We too enjoy country side,has always been our joint pleasure.We are so fortunate where we
    Live the forest and pastures are on the door step.

    Wishing you two a great day.

    • David Jayne says:

      Thank you Roy! It’s a enormous relief to see positive change.

      There is nothing better than the country

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