Existing or Living?

It is a great question to ask yourself occasionally to get an accurate reality check. I’m not talking about self indulgence me me me activities, are you making a difference or wasting space?

Many influences can drive us into a monotonous existence, depression, laziness, fear, obligation, comfort, guilt, illness, etc… It is so easy to do nothing more than chase your tail. I see mothers most often give beyond the point of detriment not taking care of themselves. Their efforts become rote, can be carried out in one’s sleep and sadly void of passion.

It is so easy to lose focus of the good in life when consumed with worry. Concern for others is somewhat different, but do your best for them and let it go. Worrying is disabling because it engulfs the mind preventing productive thought. I watched my mother worry herself sick when I was a child. Not fully comprehending all of the consequences of worrying I decided at a very young age I would never  worry. I do not know if that decision is the reason, but I have never seen the use in worrying and rarely waste the time. Use the time and effort to develop solutions or forget it. Carey is going back to Mayo on Monday, tests have revealed something more than stress. The poor girl laid her head on my shoulder and boohooed worrying about leaving me again. The last time was awful and I got pretty sick as a result, but this trip we had time to be proactive and put the proper assets in place. I reminded my precious wife of our efforts and assured her I would be in good hands. The tears ceased and worry was replaced with positive thoughts.

There is so much to live for even when surrounded by problems. If you wait to  work through a challenge before taking time to appreciate the good in life you’re going to live a very empty existence, because obstacles to overcome are lined up waiting.

homebound effortUntil the ventilator my days were filled with efforts to stay alive. The ventilator for me turned a terminal disease into a manageable severe disability. It is not an easy lifestyle, but I wanted a chance to see what I could do in this world. The most effective therapy for me to cope with the challenges of being a quadriplegic has been helping others. I quickly learned you don’t have to look far to find someone with a heavier burden. Making a difference in others’ lives has been the most rewarding, fulfilling experience of my life; it’s living! Thanks for reading. Have a great day! dj

3 comments on “Existing or Living?
  1. Michael Teasley says:


    In reading your blog I was reminded of something my father once said to my mother: “Show me how worrying helps and I will help you to worry.” Sound advice!

  2. Kelley says:

    Excellent read, as always. As a Mother I find myself worrying about my teens every time they ride out of the driveway. Although I do understand the concept of letting go, I still find it hard sometimes. If we don’t fall down or let our kids fall down they will never learn how to get up and learn from their own mistakes. My dear friend Carey has a heart of gold and wants to take care of everyone around her. She puts her problems on the back burner but the burner is getting smaller and smaller.I pray that this trip to The Mayo will offer answers of a diagnoses and cure for her.You two are the most deserving people of great blessings that I know. David, your encouragement as made a believer in me of “Its Kelley time”. I thank you for that more than you know.So with “Kelley time” also comes the most important thing….ITS CAREY TIME!! ALL WILL BE BETTER!!

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