My wife Carey was born and raised in Western Michigan. For the most part she is accent free similar to the fly over states, but there were a few words I had to retrain my Southern ears to hearing. The first time I heard, “I need to do my ruts” I thought we were going four wheelin in the van. I was quite disappointed when I questioned, “What?” and she pointed at her rOOts.
My first car was a VW Beetle that I drove like a monster truck. The road to deer camp had a thirty yard long mud puddle, it never dried up. In the puddle were two deep ruts (not roots Love) my Bug would bottom out on and the tires would still be spinning. To avoid bottoming out I would build up speed and straddle one rut driving like a light blue bat out of hell slipping and sliding to the other end. Unfortunately, the ruts of life we get bogged down in don’t have warning signs. We plod along and the next thing we know we are hopelessly stuck in the muck and mire. This is when we are certain life is not fair,because It seems when one is down the hits just keep coming.
Carey has asked me several times over the last few years how have I done it or how do I do it? First let me say I ain’t Superman and there have been many times I am certain I have nothing left, but in the repetition of the hits I have learned many valuable lessons. The first one, life is not unfair or fair, life just is. When one realizes this and stops feeling victimized or angry about life it opens a vast world of self empowering opportunities. If you’re in a fight and you cover your head in a defensive/victim posture eliminating all of your senses except pain life is going to kick your ass. It is totally healthy and understandable to get down even knocked down by events in life, but come up swinging! Get angry, not about what you feel life has done to you rather get good and pissed off about what you are doing to yourself with thoughts and actions then make decisions that will move you forward.
Second, if you’re in a rut stop digging! So often we are our worst enemy making situations worse or totally creating problems ourselves.
Third, country singer Gary Allan released a song that is so true titled Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain). Nothing on this big blue marble last forever, difficult times will pass and anything good is like a garden, it will go to weeds without attention.
Fourth, don’t pray to win the lottery. The last quarter century has been a vacuum for me God wise. I wasted too much precious time praying and hoping to be cured. Not until I got angry and came up swinging did my life change in positive ways. If you’re the praying type and your world is caving in, pray for strength, endurance, determination, perseverance, patience and have faith in your own abilities. I’m sorry, but the Christian faith can be very disabling when taught by ignorant individuals. We are born with God given strengths and talents supposedly and if we run to a creator every time we stub our toe turning everything over to God sets us up for enormous disappointments. As a father nothing brings me more joy than seeing my children utilize the tools I have provided to become happy well adjusted independent adults. I would hope a Devine Creator would desire the same for me.
Fifth, do not allow your hope to be extinguished. If you prefer this side of the dirt it is your responsibility to keep the flame of hope burning. Do not look to others to enable your weaknesses, but most definitely reach out for an assisting hand to get to the other side. When events back me into a desperately hopeless corner where no solutions seem to exist I get a burning in my gut, because I despise quitting with all that I am. After so much effort invested to reach 52 I hate not exhausting every possibility. We are in a pretty dark place with Carey’s health right now. She is very discouraged, frustrated and beaten down from hurting, but I know this storm will run out of rain and we will give it another day.
Have a great day! dj